We can’t fly on a plane, we don’t have one.
Bob did it (Thomas when answering the question “who pooped on the floor?” and Bob is his stuffed animal bear)
I’ll have the steak.
I am blocking my poop with my penis
Dad, why do you have fur on your arms?
Umm, where’s my Mike and Ike’s…I went poop today also and didn’t do it in my pants!
Pic O' the Day
Omaha-March-Spring Break-Zoo-Snowstorm-Iowa State Wrestlers kept us up all night...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Queen of Quotes
Hey Dad, we saw this thing on TV you point at your dogs and cats to keep them off the counters and out of the trash. We should get one of those for Thomas.
Beep, beep, beep, beep...(Thomas walking backwards)...I'm a trash truck....beep, beep, beep.
I hope no one else gets on this elevator or they are going to smell the fart I just made.
No one told me that camp was going to be outside the whole time...what I am supposed to do about all of the bugs? Just stand there and scream until someone helps me!!?
Thomas, you know you put your fingers in your mouth and you've been digging in the trash can, so basically you're eating trash, which means you're a trash baby.
Mr. Barry said he was a Jonas Brother, but they didn't want him in the band because he can only play the ukulele. And by the way, I want you to make me a CD of Justin Bieber songs right now.
That lady right there needs to pull her pants out of her crack, you can totally tell where her butt crack is at.
You know what, I am pretty much over needing to ride the carousel at the mall, but you can still take me to build a bear.
Who wants to touch my poopy bottom? Who wants to touch it?
Oh my God, Thomas' room totally smells like old tacos.
Beep, beep, beep, beep...(Thomas walking backwards)...I'm a trash truck....beep, beep, beep.
I hope no one else gets on this elevator or they are going to smell the fart I just made.
No one told me that camp was going to be outside the whole time...what I am supposed to do about all of the bugs? Just stand there and scream until someone helps me!!?
Thomas, you know you put your fingers in your mouth and you've been digging in the trash can, so basically you're eating trash, which means you're a trash baby.
Mr. Barry said he was a Jonas Brother, but they didn't want him in the band because he can only play the ukulele. And by the way, I want you to make me a CD of Justin Bieber songs right now.
That lady right there needs to pull her pants out of her crack, you can totally tell where her butt crack is at.
You know what, I am pretty much over needing to ride the carousel at the mall, but you can still take me to build a bear.
Who wants to touch my poopy bottom? Who wants to touch it?
Oh my God, Thomas' room totally smells like old tacos.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Quote-a-rama
Short list, but still a list...enjoy...
You wanna know what? I saved this poop in my bottom until we got home because I did not want to poop in the pool during swim lessons and make everybody get out.
Mommy fell how smooth the water made my bottom.
Dad, I got thirsty during swim lessons so I drank some of the dirty pool water...shhhh, don't tell Mom that I did that because she might get freaked out. Ohh, and one of my band-aids came off.
Thomas, it's best if you don't talk to me right now, because I am very tired and crabby and if you talk to me I AM GOING TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE!!
Dad, I'm sorry the pool penguin pulled the fur off your back. If it will make you fell better I'll stick it back on you.
You wanna know what? I saved this poop in my bottom until we got home because I did not want to poop in the pool during swim lessons and make everybody get out.
Mommy fell how smooth the water made my bottom.
Dad, I got thirsty during swim lessons so I drank some of the dirty pool water...shhhh, don't tell Mom that I did that because she might get freaked out. Ohh, and one of my band-aids came off.
Thomas, it's best if you don't talk to me right now, because I am very tired and crabby and if you talk to me I AM GOING TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE!!
Dad, I'm sorry the pool penguin pulled the fur off your back. If it will make you fell better I'll stick it back on you.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
- Who's Calgon?
- Do we really have a roof robot?
- I'm going to tell you a secret...Mom would like a ...(goes into another room, and comes back in) a Sealpoint Siamese cat for your anniversary.
- I got a fart monkey in my bottom
- Sitting in time out is for babies, and if you're bad you have to sit in time out, and if you're bad again you get a spanking (as sung by an out-of-tune 3 year old and played on a Casio keyboard)
- Thomas, this is our baby sitter, she's here because mom and dad are going out to eat food without us...it's called a date...one day you might go out on a date with a girl...If you stop pooping in your pants!
- I can't believe I got fart box for my birthday...Aunt Chrissy really knows what makes me happy!
- Mom, we were at the pool and Noah did not want to play with me, all he did was stare as some girls whose swimming suits did not fit.
Friday, March 5, 2010
All Olivia Quotes
Cinderella needs a good lawyer
Thomas was on the potty and pee was coming out like he was a fire hose…it was crazy
Put your book down and start rubbing my feet with both hands and keep doing it til I tell you to stop…
Can you write Mrs. Davis a note and tell her I don’t eat green eggs and ham and could you sign it Sam I am…ha ha ha, that was funny.
I wish the first crossing guard would come back, he at least pushed the button…do I have to do everything for this guy?
Guys, guys, guys, listen to me please…here is a good deal for you. I will brush my teeth for two minutes every day and at the end of the week you will take me to build a bear.
Papa, at Noah’s basketball game, his team got beat by a bunch of second graders…and they were all really little…I promised him not to tell you, but he won’t let me play under his bed, so I won’t keep my promise.
Here’s what I would like to have at my birthday party…The thing you hit that’s full of candy…nut free candy, a bean bag toss, pin the tail on a cardboard donkey, a swimming pool, and a stage…ohh, and Thomas said he would like a rocket ship.
Thomas was on the potty and pee was coming out like he was a fire hose…it was crazy
Put your book down and start rubbing my feet with both hands and keep doing it til I tell you to stop…
Can you write Mrs. Davis a note and tell her I don’t eat green eggs and ham and could you sign it Sam I am…ha ha ha, that was funny.
I wish the first crossing guard would come back, he at least pushed the button…do I have to do everything for this guy?
Guys, guys, guys, listen to me please…here is a good deal for you. I will brush my teeth for two minutes every day and at the end of the week you will take me to build a bear.
Papa, at Noah’s basketball game, his team got beat by a bunch of second graders…and they were all really little…I promised him not to tell you, but he won’t let me play under his bed, so I won’t keep my promise.
Here’s what I would like to have at my birthday party…The thing you hit that’s full of candy…nut free candy, a bean bag toss, pin the tail on a cardboard donkey, a swimming pool, and a stage…ohh, and Thomas said he would like a rocket ship.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Quote-a-Rama
A whole new long list of quotes, since I am not able to copy and paste once a week.
Hold this for me while I fart.
I can’t play the quiet game because I need to tell you I want chocolate birthday cake for desert
We need a house with three garage doors, one for mom’s van, one for your car, and one for all your junk.
It still smells like macaroni and throw up in here.
Daisy, get off me you are covered in macaroni throw up.
Thomas, next time try not to throw up on Daisy.
Dad, when you back out make sure you don’t run over Thomas’ macaroni throw up.
You’re walking to fast for me! Do I look like my legs are 10 feet long?
Santa, you really shouldn’t hold him close to your face ‘cause he’s got reflux and last night was not good.
Hi Nana, I can’t talk right now because I threw up in my sponge bob trash can and now it’s full of pieces of square cheese.
I’m staying home today because last night I threw up and when I farted a little pooh came out.
What was in your throw up Mom?
This is like an episode of Seinfeld…I haven’t thrown up in seven years.
Yuck, who stinks like big businessI’ve got a lot of responsibilities. You know, I’ve got the quite the DVD collection, and my DVD player is busted
I’ve looked over my list of chores and I agree with everything except helping with kitty litter…that’s a job for PARENTS!
We’re going to need to get a new couch before my birthday party. My friends aren’t going to want to sit on that thing!
My job is to be the organizer…I help people get organized.
I don’t think the stop sign guy knows what he is doing. Maybe he needs to go back to stop sign school. That’s what mom told me.
Okay, here’s a good deal for you to consider. I’ll take a taste of my broccoli and if I don’t like it, I still get cake, but Noah has to eat all of his because he’s bigger.
I wanna lift it up…I wanna lift it up! I can’t lift this…I’m just little.
I’ve invented a new game. It’s called “you go get me what I want.” Then you get a prize. The first player…Noah…go get me my Marie.
Thomas, you don’t like the yellow skittles (jedi motion across his face)
Question: Thomas how old are you? Answer: Good.
What’s that smell? Is Mom eating popcorn? You get downstairs and tell her to finish eating and get to bed!
Thomas, it’s very important that you do not out of bed and no making noise! If you are making noise and Santa does not come, I will be very angry with you.
Noah, you heard what I told Thomas…the same goes for you!
Thomas, you know if you pretend to cry like a baby it means you probably smell like a baby.
You know what I’d really like to see…a beaver.
Four candy canes! Four…Really…oh man Santa you outdid yourself this time!
Mom, what does my Buzz Lightyear do?...Wait a minute, where’s my Diego?
Hey I know let’s see who can fart the most. I win!
Hey, everybody be quiet while I “sit down on this cushion”
Hey Nana, come and sit down right by me on this cushion. - Ha ha ha ha, Nana if you are going to pass the gas you need to say excuse me.
Thomas, jump through my hula hoop like you are a tiger.
Thomas, stop with the poops in your pants and go on the potty so I get 10 skittles.
Mom, I am going to whisper this to you and not Dad, but if he gets a little more thin around the middle I will give him all the candy I cannot have.
Paw paw, you pick up all my stuff and take it out to the van!
Holy moley that is the biggest pancake I have ever seen…Noah if you have some leftover pancake that did not touch your T, I’ll finish it.
Thomas, keep your booger hands away from my T.
Is he taking the medicine that makes him all goofy
When you went to the store, Papa came over and said you need to clean the ice off the goddamn driveway. He said goddamn like 5 times!
This is my older brother Noah, and this is my younger brother Thomas…he’s a bucket head.
Just to let everyone know I farted, but I am holding it in my pants so it doesn’t stink up the van.
Whoa!, we’ve got a whole nother room in the basement…why didn’t anyone tell me.
Thomas, I have a new game…It’s called The Bird and the Boy. I’ll be the bird and you be the boy…all you have to do is sit there and not move.
Make me a big sign that says “Mom, don’t mess up the shoes…”
Only some people in my family can hula hoop – Madison Chopp
I don’t like these pillows! (followed by tossing them over the back of the couch into the people behind him)
Daisy, I’m sorry you can’t have my pizza bones…you’re getting kinda big
Just put my chocolate milk in the bag...last time, I carried it in the car, I spilled it and now the car smells like babies.
I’m gonna ride a monkey.
I want more cereal, I want my Bob, I’d like a unicorn…one with wings…
Can I play some p-station? Ha ha ha p-station, good thing it’s not a dump station.
I’ve made a Build a Bear chart, and I have nine marks and Noah and Thomas you only have one…guess I will be the only one going to Build a Bear. You guys will just have to stand outside and watch.
Mmmm Qtip smells like popcorn
Dad here’s 50 cents…go and vacuum your car out.
This year I would like my birthday party to be over the top
Here’s what I had to eat today, waffles, a piece of cheese, yogurt, chips, carrots, spaghetti o’s, a butter sandwich, crackers, a banana, string cheese, a fruit bar, another banana, applesauce, tacos, corn, …I’m still hungry, what do we have to eat?
The best thing about Valentine’s Day…root beer dum dums
You know Thomas is named after a president…the one with the white curly hair.
No wonderscope, no library, why is the only place open today Sam’s Club and this place with all the dead animals, why are we looking at dead deer, they all look the same. This is the worst day off ever!
I would like to get a starfish for our next pet.
The next babysitter we get needs to like puzzles and not talk on the phone the whole time, but she did let Noah and I wrestle and I didn’t even get in trouble when I hit him in the privates.
My last name is not Bodenstab it’s Rockpaperscissors
Oh my God, what stinks in here (Laura)…It was Olivia she farted in the bathtub (Noah)…HA HA HA it was making bubbles (Thomas)
You know what, when I grow up I would like to be an ice dancer and a parachute maker.
Thomas is licking the shopping cart!
Three things I want to buy with the Christmas money…another squirrel call, a John Cena belt buckle, and some root beer at Sam’s Club
I brushed my teeth for two minutes tonight…Did you? Blow some air in my face and let me see…Doesn’t smell like it.
Olivia stop touching me or I am going to use angry words at you!
Hold this for me while I fart.
I can’t play the quiet game because I need to tell you I want chocolate birthday cake for desert
We need a house with three garage doors, one for mom’s van, one for your car, and one for all your junk.
It still smells like macaroni and throw up in here.
Daisy, get off me you are covered in macaroni throw up.
Thomas, next time try not to throw up on Daisy.
Dad, when you back out make sure you don’t run over Thomas’ macaroni throw up.
You’re walking to fast for me! Do I look like my legs are 10 feet long?
Santa, you really shouldn’t hold him close to your face ‘cause he’s got reflux and last night was not good.
Hi Nana, I can’t talk right now because I threw up in my sponge bob trash can and now it’s full of pieces of square cheese.
I’m staying home today because last night I threw up and when I farted a little pooh came out.
What was in your throw up Mom?
This is like an episode of Seinfeld…I haven’t thrown up in seven years.
Yuck, who stinks like big businessI’ve got a lot of responsibilities. You know, I’ve got the quite the DVD collection, and my DVD player is busted
I’ve looked over my list of chores and I agree with everything except helping with kitty litter…that’s a job for PARENTS!
We’re going to need to get a new couch before my birthday party. My friends aren’t going to want to sit on that thing!
My job is to be the organizer…I help people get organized.
I don’t think the stop sign guy knows what he is doing. Maybe he needs to go back to stop sign school. That’s what mom told me.
Okay, here’s a good deal for you to consider. I’ll take a taste of my broccoli and if I don’t like it, I still get cake, but Noah has to eat all of his because he’s bigger.
I wanna lift it up…I wanna lift it up! I can’t lift this…I’m just little.
I’ve invented a new game. It’s called “you go get me what I want.” Then you get a prize. The first player…Noah…go get me my Marie.
Thomas, you don’t like the yellow skittles (jedi motion across his face)
Question: Thomas how old are you? Answer: Good.
What’s that smell? Is Mom eating popcorn? You get downstairs and tell her to finish eating and get to bed!
Thomas, it’s very important that you do not out of bed and no making noise! If you are making noise and Santa does not come, I will be very angry with you.
Noah, you heard what I told Thomas…the same goes for you!
Thomas, you know if you pretend to cry like a baby it means you probably smell like a baby.
You know what I’d really like to see…a beaver.
Four candy canes! Four…Really…oh man Santa you outdid yourself this time!
Mom, what does my Buzz Lightyear do?...Wait a minute, where’s my Diego?
Hey I know let’s see who can fart the most. I win!
Hey, everybody be quiet while I “sit down on this cushion”
Hey Nana, come and sit down right by me on this cushion. - Ha ha ha ha, Nana if you are going to pass the gas you need to say excuse me.
Thomas, jump through my hula hoop like you are a tiger.
Thomas, stop with the poops in your pants and go on the potty so I get 10 skittles.
Mom, I am going to whisper this to you and not Dad, but if he gets a little more thin around the middle I will give him all the candy I cannot have.
Paw paw, you pick up all my stuff and take it out to the van!
Holy moley that is the biggest pancake I have ever seen…Noah if you have some leftover pancake that did not touch your T, I’ll finish it.
Thomas, keep your booger hands away from my T.
Is he taking the medicine that makes him all goofy
When you went to the store, Papa came over and said you need to clean the ice off the goddamn driveway. He said goddamn like 5 times!
This is my older brother Noah, and this is my younger brother Thomas…he’s a bucket head.
Just to let everyone know I farted, but I am holding it in my pants so it doesn’t stink up the van.
Whoa!, we’ve got a whole nother room in the basement…why didn’t anyone tell me.
Thomas, I have a new game…It’s called The Bird and the Boy. I’ll be the bird and you be the boy…all you have to do is sit there and not move.
Make me a big sign that says “Mom, don’t mess up the shoes…”
Only some people in my family can hula hoop – Madison Chopp
I don’t like these pillows! (followed by tossing them over the back of the couch into the people behind him)
Daisy, I’m sorry you can’t have my pizza bones…you’re getting kinda big
Just put my chocolate milk in the bag...last time, I carried it in the car, I spilled it and now the car smells like babies.
I’m gonna ride a monkey.
I want more cereal, I want my Bob, I’d like a unicorn…one with wings…
Can I play some p-station? Ha ha ha p-station, good thing it’s not a dump station.
I’ve made a Build a Bear chart, and I have nine marks and Noah and Thomas you only have one…guess I will be the only one going to Build a Bear. You guys will just have to stand outside and watch.
Mmmm Qtip smells like popcorn
Dad here’s 50 cents…go and vacuum your car out.
This year I would like my birthday party to be over the top
Here’s what I had to eat today, waffles, a piece of cheese, yogurt, chips, carrots, spaghetti o’s, a butter sandwich, crackers, a banana, string cheese, a fruit bar, another banana, applesauce, tacos, corn, …I’m still hungry, what do we have to eat?
The best thing about Valentine’s Day…root beer dum dums
You know Thomas is named after a president…the one with the white curly hair.
No wonderscope, no library, why is the only place open today Sam’s Club and this place with all the dead animals, why are we looking at dead deer, they all look the same. This is the worst day off ever!
I would like to get a starfish for our next pet.
The next babysitter we get needs to like puzzles and not talk on the phone the whole time, but she did let Noah and I wrestle and I didn’t even get in trouble when I hit him in the privates.
My last name is not Bodenstab it’s Rockpaperscissors
Oh my God, what stinks in here (Laura)…It was Olivia she farted in the bathtub (Noah)…HA HA HA it was making bubbles (Thomas)
You know what, when I grow up I would like to be an ice dancer and a parachute maker.
Thomas is licking the shopping cart!
Three things I want to buy with the Christmas money…another squirrel call, a John Cena belt buckle, and some root beer at Sam’s Club
I brushed my teeth for two minutes tonight…Did you? Blow some air in my face and let me see…Doesn’t smell like it.
Olivia stop touching me or I am going to use angry words at you!
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