Random Quotes from My Kids or Kids at Camp

• Thomas, I know Dad washed your shoes, but they still smell like corn chips.
• Thomas, your shoes don’t match your purse.
• Noah! It’s not Itsy Bitsy Spider…its Itchy Bitchy Spider. Duh!
• There is no way I can number 2 in that hole, and I can't hold it for 3 days…someone is going to have to drive me into town.
• If you are going into town, can you take me to Subway…the sub sandwich at lunch was really wet.
• Either a raccoon or tarantula peed all over my pillow.
• Hey I know, let’s use your Dad’s duct tape to tape our pocket knives to our walking sticks and then have a spear throwing contest just like the Indians did.
• My uncle got Dutch Elm Disease right before he died.
• Camp kid #1: I’ve got arachnophobia; I need to call my mom! (followed by vomit and associated sounds). Camp kid #2 – 30 seconds later: I knew a girl who had arachnophobia.
• Thomas if you’re going into my room, turn on the fan…I don’t want it to smell like babies.
• You know what would be funny…if our last name was Butterfinger.