Conversation

Conversation I had with my daughter this morning.

In the living room:
K: Olivia, please pick up your hat so you can take it to school.
O: I can’t, I need to carry my bear.
K: You have two hands; put your hat in one and the bear in the other.
O: I CAN’T. I HAVE TO HOLD MY BEAR!!
K: Then your bear can stay at home and you can carry your hat.
O: I need to TAKE MY BEAR TO SCHOOL!
K: UGHH! Then put your hat on your head.
O: I CAN’T. It will mess up my hairrrrrr. You carry my hat.
K: I can’t. I am carrying Thomas and the nebulizer, which by the way would be a cool name for a cartoon.
O: OH Barnacles.

In the car in the garage.
K: Olivia, please get in the car.
O: YOU’RE BEING MEAN TO ME!
K: I’m not being mean to you, please pick up your hat off the floor and get in the car.

Buckling her seat belt.
O: YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE BACON.
K: Olivia please be quiet.
O: YOU’RE NOT MY BEST FRIEND!

Backing out of the garage.
O: (tiny voice) Can you turn on some rock and roll music. I don’t like the talking radio.
K: Yes, just wait until I back out.
O: TURN IT UP I CAN’T HEAR IT.
K: Olivia, I can’t turn on the CD player until I finish backing out of the garage, Jesus give me a second. Jesus.
O: You’re supposed to say Barnacles.
O: TURN IT UP I CAN’T HEAR IT.
K: Olivia, if you can be quiet until the end of the block I will turn on rock and roll.
O: Thomas is looking at me.
K: He wants to know why you are having a meltdown.

Driving down the street.
10 seconds of silence and not at the end of the block.
O: Did you bring a yogurt for me?
K: Yes.
O: And a piece of cheese?
K: Yes.
O: Can I have them.
K: Not until you get to school.
O: Barnacles.